women and, really, anyone within two feet. Of course, peeing
your pants or doing one worse are a given. Instead, this list
focuses on everything from having a public domestic
argument with your girlfriend to puking in plain sight of a
crowd.
Curious about what things you should avoid in public? Check
it out top 10 things guys shouldn't do in public.
10. Admire yourself in the mirror
Don't be that guy that is so fixated with himself that it is
bordering on lust. The type that can not go pass his reflection
on a window, or any surface without taking a moment to
admire himself. The bar narcissist who fixates on his James
Bond poses in the mirror before, during and after he talks to a
woman is equally funny and disturbing. By all means, check
the mirror to make sure you haven't got kuli kuli between
your teeth or a stream of some yucky catarrh in your nostril,
but if you can't get enough of yourself in the mirror, chances
are other people quickly will.
9. Pick yourself
Nose-pickers, You see it all the time: the guy in the parked
car next to you picking his nose as if he's trying to grab a
coin that's just out of reach, or the dude poking his ear like he
wants to pull out enough wax to make a candle or the guy at
the urinal driving a finger into his ass like he's trying to read
his own temperature. Sure, we all get itches, but satisfying
some of them in public can spell more harm than relief, and is
just one of those things guys shouldn't do in public — ever.
PS. Don't feel you are being coded. You never are.
8. Sit with crossed legs
This looks very good with girls, especially when they are
wearing the always flawless mini. But as a guy, this is just
wrong! True, some guys can pull it off. However, on the
wrong pair of legs, what's intended to express comfort and
ease can quickly turn into a uncomfortable (for others) way of
sitting. Better to keep your feet on the ground.
7. Blow your nose without a tissue
Blowing your nose with your hand, then wiping it on a stick,
or tree bark, or a wall, or…need I say more? It's just
disgusting. Always have a pack of tissues/handkerchief
handy, or, if you don't and have to blow your nose, ask for
one from someone nearby. If you feel shy about asking for a
tissue, consider that the people around you would no doubt
appreciate it more if it will prevent a river of snot from
shooting in front of their feet.
6. Scratching
scratching don't mean the casual scratching of chin (tugging
at the sexy goatee, rather) or scratching the head when
thinking. I mean the concentrated rubbing of a spot. Number
1 on this sub item is the scratching of the balls. That thing can
never look right. And don't presume that if you put your
hands in your pocket and scratch the jewels that it won't still
be obvious – I learnt that the embarrassing way. Also
scratching of butt, armpit, etc a no go. Please. Biko. Dun
Allah
5. Puke
We've all had too much to drink and thrown up the contents
of our evening, well maybe not all of us but you get the idea.
While you may be amazed at your mass of spaghetti, the
kunu, the alomo you drank from your homie's birthday, and
foam from two jugs of beer on the ground, the public would
rather keep drinking and not see the contents of your stomach.
If the room's spinning out of control, do your best to find a
closed bathroom stall to save your evening (and everyone
else's). You'll not only avoid the humiliation of puking in
front of an audience, but if you freshen up your breath and
stick to drinking water, you could keep partying (and keep
your dignity).
3. Argue with your girlfriend
You could have a valid reason why you're arguing with your
girlfriend, but everyone around you will only see you one
way: as a hothead. And if you're with other couples at a
party, you've now cranked up the discomfort by creating an
awkward atmosphere for everyone by engaging in this thing
guys shouldn't do in public. By trying to solve your nuclear
debates at home with your girlfriend, you'll help save the
public from the negative fallout.
2. Pee conspicuously
As you know, one of the top 10 things only men can do is pee
anywhere. However, that doesn't mean you should. A hidden
spot behind a bush or alleyway to relieve yourself works fine
(kind of), but if you simply turn your back behind a car
thinking you're hiding yourself, remember there are tons of
people in front of you that can still see you clear as day. Plus,
no one cares to sidestep a river of piss just to get into his or
her car.
1. Cry
Yes, it's possible that you might cry at a funeral. However, do
you really need to shed a tear at the latest romantic comedy
you took your girlfriend to go see? We all get emotional and
have our ups and downs, but having empathy doesn't mean
having to turn on the waterworks. If your girlfriend weeps at a
movie or while she's reading, by all means comfort her.
However, if you're also drowning in a pool of tears, it's going
to make it a much harder job. Personally I think any guy that
does this should be arrested. As the a philosopher once said, if
you're crying at the movies, it should be better be because the
movie is so crappy that you are crying over the wasted money
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