Why Sexual Rejection is So Difficult For Men

Sexual rejection is an issue most men I know deal
with on a consistent basis. It's why most of us are
reluctant to approach a women for a date or even
approach our wives for physical companionship.
Rejection in any form is difficult for any of us, but
sexual rejection is something that really tends to hit
home for men, so here's a quick insight into why
your man may take it so personally when as a wife,
you're just not "in the mood."

Men tend to bury their emotions and subsequently
store all of those unsaid words and unresolved
issues right into their phallic counterparts. Simply
consider how often we associate peak male sexual
performance with aggression. Much of the
frustration, pressure, and basic life burden men
must carry must also be disguised under a veil of
seeming strength, composure, and alpha-male
egoism in order to maintain the public face. Many
of us only express our "true" or aggressive selves
and allow that pressure to be almost literally
released behind closed doors with a person we hope
accepts all of our publicly imperfect forms.

When we attempt to make that connection with our
significant other, only to be consistently pushed
away or rejected, it is very difficult for us to
separate the physical act from the personal identity
association. In other words, when our spouse
rejects our physical advances, they fully reject us
as a man – at least in our eyes. I know many
women who feel this interpretation by men is
totally ridiculous. I've heard women say phrases as,
"I don't know why he takes it so personally, I'm
not rejecting him, I just don't want to have sex
with him."

So I'll try to put it into perspective for the curious -
It's like getting a woman to separate her identity
from her physical appearance in America. It's
almost impossible to do on a mass scale. And if
you don't feel we still attach a woman's value to
her appearance, then we probably don't live in the
same country. Many times to dismiss a woman as
unattractive or physically unacceptable, is to reject
her as a person. It's one of many misogynistic
misgivings we still carry regarding our modern day
woman. There are always exceptions to the rule (on
both sides), but we're talking to the masses here.
This feeling of male sexual identity rejection is not
necessarily a healthy or validated response to our
spouses simply not being "in the mood" or
otherwise, but yet it's still a reality. And we can't
start to address an issue until we seek to understand
it first. Men in general will do better to cope with
sexual spousal rejection issues once we as a whole
begin to include other means of self-expression into
our overall communication tools. But in the mean
time, we'll still be silently offended every time our
un-evolved attempt at a deeper human connection
is rejected – at least in our eyes.

Culled from Blackandmarriedwithkids