guy" on deck in case we needed a quick date or some male
company. You know the type: he's more than a friend but
nowhere near anyone we claim as our man. But have you ever
wondered if you were someone else's back up chick? In
matters of the heart, lines can get blurred and many things can
get lost in translation when you're ignoring signs or being
deceived, so here are some ways to tell if the guy you're into
is into you back, or if you're simply his back up chick.
1. He Doesn't Claim You: Some men will call you his "girl"
in private, but never claim you in public. By this, I mean
never introducing you to friends or family, no PDA and won't
be caught dead in any cute, cozy flicks on Instagram. I'm not
saying you have to have a social media presence in order to
be official, but if he doesn't want anyone to know you exist
and says it's because he's "private" and doesn't want anyone
all up in his business, what he's REALLY saying is "I want to
keep my options open." You're not the one…keep it moving.
2
. Cancels Plans At The Last Minute: This guy only asked
you to hang out because the woman he really wanted to go
out with was unavailable. But then she became available,
which means you are now getting the boot. If this happens
often, it's usually because something, or someone, better
came along and he doesn't need you to fall back on anymore.
If it happens once, it's nothing to get alarmed about. But if it
happens often, you're his back up chick…and you shouldn't
stand for it out of principal alone.
3. He Just Wants To Be Friends (With Benefits): The most
obvious way to tell you're his back up chick is if he tells you
he just wants to be friends, even after you've managed to
sleep together already. Now this is where a woman has to be
honest with herself because a lot of men will tell a woman
upfront that they don't want to be in a relationship with her or
anyone else, but they think s3x will change their mind.
Ladies, not even MIND-BLOWING s3x will make a man
want to commit if he isn't ready. Hell, he may be ready to
commit, just not with you. If he says he just wants to be
friends, believe him. If you can hand s3x with no strings,
cool…rock out. But if you want more, wait to see if that
friendship has the potential to turn into something more
before you give up the goodies.
4. Makes Plans At The Last Minute: Just like the guy who
cancels at the last minute, the man who uses you as his back
up chick usually considers you his "Plan B" when his original
plans fall through. He knows you'll be at home waiting by the
phone for him to call you to do something, so you keep your
weekends free just in case he gets the urge to hit you up. If
you recognize this behaviour in yourself, stop it and get a life.
As the saying goes, don't make a man a priority when he only
considers you an option. Next time he calls with a last minute
request to see you, be busy.
5. He Says You Are Perfect For Someone Else: How many
times have you been seeing a guy casually who complains
that there are no good women out there when, in fact, you
seem to be everything he's looking for? It's frustrating when
the guy you're head over heels in love with can't recognize a
good thing when it's staring him in the face, so you keep
trying to show him how wonderful you are to no avail. He
will tell you that you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, hot, and
everything that any man could ever want…just not him. What
he's saying is he's just not that into you. If he keeps trying to
push you onto someone else, then follow his lead and find a
man who actually wants to be with you.
6. He Openly Dates Other Women: Again, this is a no-
brainer, but you'd be surprised how many women are in
denial that they have a chance with a guy who openly talks
about and dates other women. If you two have no real
commitment and he has no problem discussing other women
in front of you, you're wasting your time hoping for a
relationship with this guy. If he knows that you want more
than a casual dating situation with him, yet flaunts other
women in front of you anyway, he has no regard for your
feelings. In fact, wants you to know that you two are nowhere
close to being in a committed relationship. He's showing you
who he is and what he does and does not want. Believe him!
7. He Never Returns Your Calls: Duh. If you are always
calling him, only to get a response back from him days or
weeks later, he's not that into you. When a man is digging
you, he can't help but reach out to you to hear your voice,
check up on you and see what you're up to. But if days,
weeks…months go by, and then he hits you up out of the blue
like "what's up…wanna hang out," or drunk texts you asking
if he can stop by, it is up to you to see the clear sign. This
basically means he's in between girlfriends, his girlfriend is
out of town, or he's bored or Hot and there is no one else to
call. Block him.
8. You Can't Spend The Night After S3x: If a man says you
can't stay over because he has to get up early or simply asks
you to leave after having s3x, you are a non-factor in his life.
You should be able to at least get a good night's rest after
rolling around in the sheets and maybe even a bowl of cereal
in the morning before you head out. But if he's always got an
excuse as to why you can't stay, he's using you for s3x only
or he's afraid his REAL girlfriend will roll up on him and
bust him. If he was really into you, he'd want you to stay so
you could spoon all night. Have some dignity and never go
back…and sleep in your own bed.
9. He Always Comes To You After A Break Up: This is the
guy who cries on your should after some other no-good chick
breaks his heart into a million little pieces…and he has yet to
realize that you would never hurt him like that. He knows
deep down inside that you are a good woman and would make
a great wife one day, but rather than getting with you, he
dates ratchet chicks and then wonders how he got played for a
fool. He's vulnerable, so he talks to you in romantic ways
saying things like "why can't all women be wonderful like
you," getting your hopes up that he'll actually open his eyes
and discover that you're the one. He spends time with you
while he heals and you take his mind off that wicked b–ch
who broke his heart and you think he'll pay you back with his
undying love and devotion. Wake up, because that stuff only
happens in your dreams or the movies. Once his wounds have
healed and he's over her, he doesn't need you anymore…he's
on the prowl again looking for anyone but you. Next time he
comes to you after a breakup, tell him you'd love to console
him but you've got plans with your new man and he'll have to
get over it himself. You're not his therapist, he'll be alright.
Via: KemiFilani's blog
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