We supposedly have a younger age that, if we hit it unmarried, we become less desirable at. So a
woman is ready to bring a guy home after just a
few months of dating, just to show her family
1. HE WON'T MOVE IN WITH YOU YET
Many women have a timeline for their relationship, and
they believe that by year x (for many women it's between
year 1 and year 3) they should be moved in with their
boyfriend. And if he doesn't suggest it, or even rejects the
idea when they bring it up, many women will call it quits.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
Men think about the big picture more than you give them
credit for. And a lot of men, rather than thinking, "We've
been dating for three whole years" think, "We
have only been together three out of the 60-something
years we might be together." And when you look at it that
way, waiting another year or two, if it could keep the
relationship together, is worth it. Not to mention, why not
enjoy a little more time having a place all to yourself? It
could be the last time you ever do.
2. HE WON'T INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS FAMILY
YET
Women, whether we like to admit it or not, are under
more pressure than men are to get married. We supposedly
have a younger age that, if we hit it unmarried, we become
less desirable at. So a woman is ready to bring a guy home
after just a few months of dating, just to show her family,
"Hey! Look! I won't end up alone." But men tend to need
much more time before they're comfortable bringing a
woman home, and for many women, this makes them
think the guy's just not serious about them.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
Women are far more comfortable leaning on their family
during emotionally trying times like, say, during a
breakup. So they don't mind their family knowing
about every relationship that begins and ends. But men
often either don't feel comfortable turning to their family
during a breakup, or don't think it's a burden they should
put on their family, so in order for them to take a woman
home, they need to feel pretty certain it's the woman
they'll marry. Women don't need to know they'll marry a
man to take him home: they just need to believe they can
be happy for a few years for now. But for men, bringing a
woman home is his subtle way of saying, "She's the one."
That's worth waiting for.
3. HE WON'T PROPOSE YET
There's that timeline again: a lot of women believe that if
a man doesn't propose by year x, he's just never going to.
And they believe that if a guy goes silent when the subject
of marriage comes up, he'll definitely never propose.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
The truth is that women are usually always certain of their
feelings for a guy long before the men are certain of their
feelings for a woman. You know it's true: you probably
had to hold back your giddiness about your guy in the first
few months—or even a year—until his enthusiasm caught
up. But then, when he was in, he was all in. Almost every
woman feels ready to marry her partner before her partner
feels ready to marry her. Your guy isn't weird or skittish
—he's probably normal. So long as he talks about the far
away future with you comfortably, there's nothing to
worry about.
4. YOU'RE CONSUMED BY INSECURITIES
Hey, we're all head-trips. We all down-spiral into these
hurricanes of insecurities, thinking that our partner would
be better suited with a woman the complete opposite of
ourselves, thinking we'll turn out just like our mothers and
our marriage will turn out just like our parents', thinking
we'll get fat the moment we get married. Many women get
so consumed by insecurities, but are far too proud to bring
them up to their partner, so, rather than live in turmoil,
they just end the relationship, leaving a very confused
man behind.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
Your partner wasn't born yesterday! He's seen enough
chick flicks you've dragged him to to know that
women have those thoughts. He won't think you need to
be committed to the psych ward if you share your
insecurities with him. If he loves you, he'll do what's
within his means to ease those insecurities. And you know
what? You'll have those insecurities with anybody you
date, so it'd be a shame to walk away from a great guy,
only to date a sea of mediocre men, who will still elicit
those feelings.
5. YOU DON'T FEEL EXCITED ALL THE TIME
Feelings of infatuation are some of the greatest in the
world. You always feel like your partner is on the exact
same wavelength as you—he's tired when you are, happy
when you are, horny when you are, depressed when you
are. You think, "This is what life is for! This is what
marriage is supposed to be like!" So, when you suddenly
feel out of sync with your partner, it's easy to think the
excitement was all hormones, and this is the wrong guy.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
We're all subject to the same chemicals and hormones,
and studies have found there is in fact an infatuation phase
that ends (at around 2 or 3 years) and while that can be a
let down, it only feels bad for a little bit: you're just
comparing how it is to that euphoria it used to be, so of
course that will depress you. But if you stick it out, and
focus on having good conversations with your partner, and
doing things that you bond over, you can actually reach a
new, deeper kind of excitement.
6. YOU FEEL YOUR CAREER IS STIFLED
A lot of women are very driven when they're single, but
when they fall in love, something happens. Suddenly,
there's a boyfriend to see instead of attending another
networking event. And suddenly it seems like it's either
got to be the boyfriend or career.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
Newsflash: this is just a problem of being self-disciplined!
And if you're not, you'll always find something to hold
you back from your career, from your social life to
traveling to a new dog. A good, healthy relationship can
actually enhance your career. If you bounce ideas off your
partner, and lay down ground rules about days and hours
you need to set aside to work, you can be mentally
energized by your relationship and thrive in your work.
7. HIS CAREER IS STIFLED
There's something so appealing about the creative,
entrepreneurial types — until they are turned down the
twelfth time for a grant, or they have to move into their
parent's place to save money on rent and save up capital.
Some women can start to feel they'll face a life of struggle
with a partner like this, and leave.
WHY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO END
Guess what? A guy with a totally "stable" job could be in
his parent's house at the blink of an eye. There's no such
thing as a "stable" job—there's only such thing as stable
passion and ambition. And a man who has those will
always find a way to succeed. And you know what? They
tend to be happier than the guy at the "stable" job that he
couldn't care less about. If you want to be somebody's
wife one day, you'll have to wait out hard times. So long
as your partner is actually trying his hardest every day,
start practicing patience now.
Culled from MadamNoire
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